You Often Need to Fall Apart Beautifully Before You Level Up

Come out of your shell. Live your dream life.

This is an odeeee to my shy girlies, my introvert girlies, the perfectionists, the planners. To live your life. Or at least take the next steps to be your happiest and highest self. I’m gonna throw myself under the bus and use myself as an example. But there was a time in life when I was low vibrational. Indoors every day. No friends. Shutting people out. I think cause I’m a major planner and that hurt me in that I just needed to accomplish something. I felt I needed to do everything at once. And until I got this exact thing, then I can't move on to the next step and the next step and the one after that.

And I found being my highest self is the last step. And that was also where my joy and happiness was: living my authentic happy life, self-actualization. And so I'd have little blocks of things I needed to do before I could be happy. A big one was being insecure in my body. I mean in uni or college my go-to outfit was some cute tank top and whatever cool baggy pants. Streetwear. When I gained weight though, freshman 15 and the additional corporate baddie 10, I was soooooo insecure. Particularly about my arms. So I couldn't wear what I wanted. And so what did I do? I put it off. I put living off "just till I get my body right." I declined every invite, till I literally shapeshifted my personality into the biggest homebody. Literally always home. Said no to all invites. Never wanting to go out. But it also felt like life was passing me by.

I wanted to wear cute dresses. Go on spicy dates to add some pozazzzz to my life. Let a fine man wine and dine me, you know. Think tall, skinny, sexy wine glasses, a silk dress, playing with my hair, hot makeup in the summer, and knit pieces in the winter. I wanted to be entertained and laugh. I wanted to go out and catch up with friends on where they are in life now, navigating all the different life phases like working, promotions for some, marriage for some, and motherhood for some. I wanted to be in the moment. Buttttttttttt... snap back out of daydreaming. I literally went off on a lala land tangent there. Because my reality was big shirts and fucking hoodies in the scorching summers. That was the worst. And saying nooo to everything. Slowly forgetting who I was in it all. Even developed a social anxiety and depression, lol (check out my other blogs for details).

Then one of my fave YouTubers posted a video: Sometimes you need to crash out before you level up. And she couldn't be anyyy more right. One day I woke up and something snapped in me. I was being so low vibrational. There was this great life I wanted to live but things like my weight were in the way. Don’t be fooled. I’m a very driven person so best believe I was in the gym and eating them salads. But clearly what I was doing was not working. I was still big, not huge, but not me. So I really needed to research. Luckily at the time I could afford it, so I started seeing a nutritionist. I went for weeks, months, and didn't lose a single pound, haha.

But I started. And once you start something you are always learning. SO JUST START. I was still big but I was learning nutrition. I started building consistency. And to be consistent I had to quit the gym. Cause I was doing these rigorous workouts, great, but I was not consistent. Sometimes I was lazy. Other times I would show up. And then I'd reward myself with those free peanut butter berry shakes you can get using points from attending the gym. Noooothing wrong with a peanut butter berry smoothie, but I was in noo place to manage such snacks that were keeping my body goals stuck. And plus now I needed to travel to the gym but my corporate job hours were sooooo unpredictable; my 9-5 could actually be a 9 a.m. til 2 a.m. the following morning (this was another block but I think I’ll make a part 2 for this).

So going to the gym considering all these factors was just another stressor. Not to mention my budget was as tight as my old dresses, lol. But my living room would never fail me. She’s always there. And so I started doing something as small as pacing in front of the TV for 10 minutes when I could. And I quit the gym. Girl, if you think you need to break up with the gym to actually get your body right or relieve stress, I’m here to hold your hand and give you permission to do just that. I quit the gym and started pacing in front of my TV. Consistency beats intensity every time. And so I showed up.

Show up for yourself. Pick one small thing and be consistent. I gained these small tips and tricks, really actually it was habits. It took me a year and 6 months. Literally a year and a half to break my habits. And that was before I even started losing any weight; none of the real work had started. But the mind shift was important. So yes. Get out of your low vibe habits. If you’re better than me and you can learn to live your life before getting that dream body, that’s even better and I love that for you. But if you’re a perfectionist like me, who struggles to move onto something until the thing before it is completed, then lock in.

I know you are already trying. Like how I was already in the gym each time although actually never losing weight. But something in you needs to break. Something in you needs to snap. The crashout needed before the glow up. I hope this hits home for you. I will write another blog on how I lost the 12 kg / 26 pounds. I really wanted to live as my higher self, but my weight felt like a wall I just couldn't move past. What I was doing wasn't working, so I really needed to be honest with myself, do research, and pivot. Research and planning was one thing, but after that I needed to lock in and execute, because planning without execution is failure. And then I could finally hit my goals and love my dream life.

I really wish I could sit here and tell you to immediately start your dream life now, and there are definitely steps you can do for that. But if you’re anything like me, sometimes you need to tackle the block first. But I had to break first and I hope this inspires you too. What's your block, the thing that you use as the reason you can't live your best life yet? Is it your weight? Your finances? Your friendships? It could be anything, what's yours? This was not the only block between me and leveling up. The next thing was my finances. And I will make a part 2 about it. But I hope this speaks to you sooooo much. And sparks a lightning bolt in you in motion to overcome your block and reach your highest self.

As always on this glow-up journey, I leave you with a tool to expand your mind as you level up. I create monthly ebooks and audiobooks, pouring into them genuinely to help others with some targeted learning. Because the more you expose yourself to something, the more you become it. And eventually, you wake up one day as your highest, hottest self.

🤍 Here is the link to this week's ebook for the readers : https://safehavencornerstudio.com/a-friend-in-your-pocket-guide-to-social-anxiety

💛 Audiobook for the listeners (coming soon if not linked already).

🧡 Chitchatting and unpacking on YouTube : https://youtu.be/yyffraqHCOU

TTFN, ta ta for now.

Haven ✨

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